Monica Chuda thought she knew what God was calling her to when she was young. She imagined becoming a nun. Instead, she married, raised four children, endured alcoholism and violence in her marriage, experienced divorce, and learned what it meant to depend on God when she couldn’t see a way forward.
In this deeply personal conversation with Terry Modica, founder of Good News Ministries, Monica shares how suffering led her into a deeper relationship with Jesus, how spiritual direction helped her discern difficult decisions, and how the Rosary and her devotion to Mary became central to her prayer life.
If you’re facing a difficult situation, this episode of Footsteps to Heaven may give you a new way to look at your circumstances.
Monica Chuda immigrated from communist Czechoslovakia to the USA in 1994. She is a Third Order Franciscan and works as a caregiver for veterans. She is author of a book of Catholic poetry entitled Heavenly Pelican.
Are you wondering?
- How can I know what God wants me to do the difficult situation I’m facing?
- How do I discern God’s will when my marriage is falling apart?
- Should I get an annulment?
- How can I trust God when I’m suffering and don’t understand why?
- How can prayer help me make difficult decisions?
- How can I surrender my plans to God and learn to trust His will?
KEY TAKEAWAY:
When life becomes difficult, stop trying to figure everything out on your own. Turn to Jesus, Mary, and prayer. Seek wise spiritual guidance. And surrender your situation to God’s will.
Pray, “Lord Jesus, I trust in you, take care of everything,” and invite God to lead you through whatever situation you’re facing.
Chapters:
0:47 – Can You Know God’s Will for Your Troubled Marriage?
1:58 – Monica’s story: From Wanting to Be a Nun to Raising a Family
2:36 – When Family Life Falls Apart
5:11 – Finding God Through Divorce and Difficult Circumstances
6:17 – “Your Will Be Done”: Learning to Trust God
7:02 – When You Don’t Know What to Do
12:01 – Divorce, Annulment, and Spiritual Guidance
14:27 – The Rosary, Mary, and Trusting God While Suffering
16:38 – Finding Joy While Enduring Difficulties
17:00 – How the Blessed Mother Helps Us Trust God
20:14 – When God Feels Distant: A Powerful Experience of Mary
24:35 – Recognizing God’s Quiet Signs and Guidance
26:38 – “Lord Jesus, I Trust in You”: Letting Go and Surrendering
Excerpt:
Terry Modica: A good starting point for somebody who is looking at their lives, and going, “Oh, what a mess! Oh, what suffering! Oh, what do I do next?” is, like you said, “God, You know, I can’t do it. It’s up to You.” That’s a turning point. That is a major turning point.
And even when we are close to God, even when we’ve been following Him closely for a long time, we all get to those points of decision making, where it’s like, “Should I do this?” or, “Should I do that?” or, “How do I get out of this difficult situation?”
Or, “How do I get out of this difficult situation with a spouse who is alcoholic?” That’s something that a lot of people find hard to do. It’s hard to know what God’s will is when there’s alcoholism or any other kind of abuse. We want the marriage to work, we try it, but if the spouse isn’t cooperating with God’s plan, what do we do? How do we know what God wants?
We know the Church disapproves of divorce. The Church expects our marriage to be permanent, and that’s a struggle that a lot of people face. A lot of people. And knowing God’s will — yes, He does say, “Enough is enough,” because it takes two people, both husband and wife, to make a marriage. And when one doesn’t work for the marriage, when one doesn’t put in the effort to improve, to heal, to get the help they need, especially if there’s any kind of addiction, there has to be a turning point where they say, “Yes, I want God to help.”
And if there isn’t, they’ve walked away from the marriage. Anybody out there listening to this who is struggling with “does God want me to stay in this marriage or not?”, you need to see a spiritual director, like Monica said she went to, and you need a therapist, very possibly, and finding a good Catholic one, that’s the trick.
Monica Chud: Yes, exactly.
Terry: It’s something that’s so important to do: It’s to not assume that you know what God’s will is in a difficult marriage, because we hear voices from the outside, the Church says it should last, and we want it to last, but yet the other person, the spouse, isn’t cooperating with that, so does God really want divorce or not?
Monica: That’s exactly what I wanted to say. That was my spiritual direction too: that Jesus doesn’t want you to suffer this way. I know Catholic church doesn’t approve of divorce, but if you do get divorced, it’s for the reason which, like you said, if the other side doesn’t want to fix it or doesn’t say yes to God to change, it has to happen. The divorce has to happen. But you can stay alone then.
I had an annulment because there was a valid reason for annulment.
Terry: Talk about the annulment process, because there are a lot of misconceptions about that. There’s a lot of people who are — I’ve heard them talk about it — they’re afraid that the Church is being too intrusive, or that their spouse is going to get mad at them if they go for an annulment. So what was that experience like for you?
Monica: My Cleveland Diocese — I applied here for the annulment, and it was pretty smooth. I guess, like 18 months, two years, it was over. They did want the witnesses we had in the marriage to write down their opinion, but everybody knew my marriage — you know, my neighbors and friends and family — so they did say the truth, and it was pretty easy for me to get an annulment,
I have to say, I think my marriage was from my disobedience to my parents, because I thought I knew best. Like I said, it was my will at the beginning, but I guess it wasn’t really God’s will. But God blessed me with four beautiful children, I’m not sorry for that, you know.
But yes, annulment is the way that we should go. When we get divorced, we shouldn’t just leave it like that. We should try for that annulment, and if you don’t get it, you have to stay by yourself, not to get married again, because that’s against the Church’s rules, as we know. Yes, stay celibate, yeah, and just take care of the children. That’s what I was doing anyway for 16 years after my divorce, just by myself, even though I had the annulment.
Also, when we don’t know what to do, and we are at the bottom — like you said, rock bottom — call to Jesus, call to God, and call to Mary. Mary is the best mother, and she will lead you, you know, like she did me. I prayed lots of Rosaries, even though at the beginning, when I got married, I don’t think I ever even prayed the Rosary. Maybe a couple times.
But now, daily, I pray the Rosary, the Divine Mercy Chaplet, and try to stay close to God, to Jesus, to Mary, as much as I can, all day, throughout all day, and pray for my children.
I know it’s suffering. Nobody wants to suffer, but there is something like redeeming suffering. And the friends of Jesus suffer a lot, you know, redemptive suffering. And He doesn’t give us more than we can carry, I found out all throughout my life. So, I can keep my joy in Jesus. I keep my joy in whatever happens….
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This episode is a companion to Terry Modica’s workbook “Knowing God’s Will and Doing It Well“.
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